I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
