The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize