Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
