shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she told me i tasted like america
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
