Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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