New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
