just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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