if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
