never play flip cup with pint glasses
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
