hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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