Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
