I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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