And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
