woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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