He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I love you. Go after that dick
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
