Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
