The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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