I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
