You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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