Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
