Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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