Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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