At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
