life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize