the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so let's talk penis.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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