Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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