omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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