i just wanna soil my oats bro
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
