I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
