every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
