Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
