I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
