If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize