Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
