S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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