Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
