She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
