i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
