I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
