alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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