I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
