can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
