were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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