I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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