I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
