He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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