At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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