I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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