At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
