Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
