We're like a lot better than the average bears
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
