Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I didn't notice because vodka
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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