I forgot how hot balto sounded
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
