Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize