Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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