Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
