I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize