Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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