just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize