Apparently you make a good broom.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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