He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
