I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
