i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize