I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
