You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
