This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
