Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
