I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
