Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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