Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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