So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
